dear person who i used to be friends with, in fact, we used to be best friends but now i pretty much hate you because of your poor taste in shoes, and also your affinity for clowns and arkansas,
i am soooo mad at you, and also, i think that you have stupid ears.
that’s right, your ears are stupid. and they are nothing like the ears of peggy lee. so ha. you lose and i win.
here’s what i think; (and, acutally, it’s not just me who thinks this, nick and skyler actually gave me this idea, but idk if they were serious, i kind of think not, but i’m going to pretend that they were because, A. it makes me feel better about myself, and B. i think it’s really funny.)
anyway, back to the point, here’s what i think:
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO COMMENT ON MY SHOES UNLESS YOU ARE A GIRL, OR GAY!!!
and because you don’t appear to be a girl, if you have something to say about my shoes you must be gay.
therefore you are gay.
also, i was talking to a friend about how i think you’re gay, and how i hate you. this friend and i now have a legitimate question:
why do you always wear slacks? do you own jeans? why don’t you wear them? jeans are so comfy, and sometimes i sleep in them, doesn’t that sound nice to you?
i guess i just don’t understand your weird habits and poor taste in shoes.
whatever.
i still hate you
sincerely,
rach
